If I mention the phrase, “easily-offended nincompoop,” your thoughts, no doubt will turn to your garden variety mouth-breathing, hand-wringing liberal. And to be fair, your garden variety mouth-breathing, hand-wringing liberal is, as a rule, quite adept at being an easily-offended nincompoop.
However, it seems your garden variety mouth-breathing, hand-wringing liberals hardly have a monopoly on being easily-offended nincompoops. Case in point: On Christmas Eve, the CBC, (Canadian Broadcast Corporation) aired the 1992 Christmas movie, “Home Alone 2: Lost in New York.” As many of you know, the current U.S. president made a cameo appearance in said movie (playing the role of himself), wherein the lead character asks him where the front desk is at New York’s Plaza Hotel, and the current president (then rich guy celebrity), says, “Down the hall and to the left.”
Well, the CBC cut that particular scene out of the movie. Officials at the network said it was done so the broadcast would fit into the time allowed. Which, to be fair, is a common practice. Television networks regularly cut entire scenes out of movies, so the movie will fit into the broadcast time frame.
This explanation was totally unsatisfactory to some easily-offended American conservative nincompoops, (most notable of whom being the president’s eldest son) who went banana salad, setting Twitter afire with tweets ranging from calling for the Canadian government to defund their country’s taxpayer-funded national television network, to crying about censorship and generally trying to portray the president as a victim of easily-triggered people at the CBC, who couldn’t handle the thought of the president being shown on their network.
OK, this proves two things: First, and most obvious, conservatives are just as likely to be easily-offended nincompoops as liberals. And second, the conservative subspecies of easily-offended nincompoops are obviously irony-challenged as well. (The irony of going so ballistic about easily-triggered people in a whole other country cutting a 5-second long scene from a 30-year-old movie sailed over the easily-offended conservatives nincompoops’ pointy heads at light speed.)
And just so you know, the appropriate response to a scene in a movie featuring a politician you favor being cut from a TV broadcast in a whole other country is to shrug your totally non-offended shoulders, smile a totally non-offended smile and say, “Yeah. Sure. Who cares?”
Still in all, it’s most important we remember the point of this missive, which is the modern malady known as easily-offended nincompoop is just as likely to afflict a conservative as a liberal.
Wanna offend an easily-offended liberal nincompoop? Wear a MAGA hat. Claim there are only two genders. Say there’s no such thing as white privilege, male privilege or thin privilege. Say you’re tired of the ubiquitous gay or transgender storyline in modern movies and TV shows. Challenge their world view.
Wanna offend an easily-offended conservative nincompoop? Say “Happy Holidays.” Criticize President Trump. Say neither Islam nor socialism are inherently evil. Point out there’s no such thing as a “war on Christmas.” Claim there are more than two genders. Say there there should be more gay and transgender story lines on TV and in the movies. Challenge their world view.
Sadly folks on both sides of the political divide (including the president) do nothing all day but intently scan the internet, television, and general culture in the desperate search for something to offend them, because outrage is now political currency. Whoever gets the most offended, and can act as if their feelings have been hurt the most wins.
With this in mind, I wish to say I don’t usually make New Year’s resolutions, (because most of them are broken by February), but this year I shall make an exception: My New Year’s resolution for 2020 is to not get offended without good cause.
In this interest, anytime I write about something I find outrageous, I’ll require myself to explain exactly why I’m outraged, and more importantly, I’ll explain in detail how I am not being an easily-offended nincompoop.
Hold me to it.
Craig Carter is an Ontario resident and can be reached in care of The Argus Observer, 1160 S.W. Fourth St., Ontario, OR 97914. The views and opinions expressed in this column do not necessarily represent those of the Argus Observer.