Random Acts of Writing — Pretty flighty pilots
By Craig Carter
Thursday, November 5, 2009 11:02 AM PST
Sometimes, really serious things happen, and you know you shouldn’t laugh, but dang it all, you just can’t help but laugh.
Case in point: The recent Northwest Airlines flight that missed Minneapolis by 150 miles. Yeah, that’s right. They missed their destination by a good 150 miles.
I myself have visions of the pilot looking at the copilot and saying, “Hey dude. Did they move Minneapolis?”
These are the times when I’m very glad I have no real life to speak of, which means I have absolutely no reason whatsoever to set foot on an airliner. I mean, I like to think I’m a pretty nice guy who can take a lot of life’s little quirks and foibles with a wink and a smile, but I do believe I’d get pretty ticked off if I wanted to fly to, say, Portland, and the pilots flew the plane out over the ocean. (Which is less than 150 miles from Portland, I might add, but being the nice guy I am, I’m trying to give the Northwest pilots the benefit of the doubt.)
Also, I’d be greatly remiss if I didn’t mention the fact that all the people in the cockpit were men. It has been suggested on this page by another columnist that women “lack the stones” to fly commercial aircraft, but if this incident doesn’t show males can be just as stoneless as women in a commercial airliner cockpit, well, I just don’t know what does. (We all can’t be “Sully” can we?)
At any rate, I shan’t mention the names of the people in the cockpit because I’m sure you’re going to hear their names a lot in the coming months.
I’m also not going to badmouth the airline they work for, even though, way back in the ’80s, when I did have a life and a reason to fly, I had many experiences with Northwest Airlines, and most of them were very bad.
For instance, the one and only time I ever drank “New Coke” was on a Northwest flight from Billings to Missoula, Mont. That was also the one and only time I ever used an airliner restroom for regurgitation purposes.
And they did have a reputation for never being on time. However, the aforementioned flight to Missoula didn’t go all the way to Spokane and back. So I guess I should’ve counted myself lucky.
At any rate, many excuses have been cited, including the pilots fell asleep, or they were intent on their laptops and didn’t realize they weren’t in touch with air traffic control. Which really makes you want to fly Northwest all the more, doesn’t it?
But seriously, I’m not going to badmouth them.
Craig Carter, an Ontario resident, writes a bi-weekly column for the Argus Observer. Comments or questions for Mr. Carter can be directed to: Craig Carter, Argus Observer Newsroom; 1160 S.W. Fourth St., Ontario, OR 97914. The views and opinions expressed in this column do not necessarily represent those of the Argus Observer
