The Backroads: UFOs
By Sean Hart
Sunday, April 12, 2009 2:11 AM PDT
A philosophical examination of some of Easter’s key players.
An endearing look into the life and struggles of a woman trapped in the body of a man.
That’s lifestyle, folks, and those are two of my better stories. Seriously, read them both, if you haven’t already ” enlighten yourself.
But, even though my brain is mush at this point, after writing them, I’m going to further this week’s Us package with another rousing read from my personal life about another thought-provoking topic: unidentified flying objects.
Wednesday night, I was sitting in my garage playing guitar (no, that scene is not some gonzo construct I’ve developed for The Backroads, simply all I ever really do) when I heard a roar that seemed to shake the very walls protecting me from the nighttime sky.
It was some sort of turbine engine or something, though far louder (or closer) than any airliner I’ve ever heard. Getting louder as it approached, It was the kind of sound that made me briefly, but seriously, contemplate an apocalyptic scenario.
Oh boy, I thought, maybe the North Koreans were further along in their “satellite” project than anyone thought. Kim Jong Il must have singled me out as “an American too cunning to ignore,” and my end was rapidly forthcoming.
I kissed my darling dog goodbye and looked for my cat to deliver a final farewell. The crazy feline was jumping up against the garage door and up and over an old recliner. Maybe it’s best not to tell him, I thought, so young and full of life.
“Goodbye, ninja kitty,” I said under my breath as I opened the door and headed outside. “May Buddha smile on your charred remains. I’m sorry I got you into this.”
From up on my roof just south of Vale, I saw the noise was not coming from a North Korean missile but a series of at least three UFOs that approached from the south-southeast and proceeded, when they were about directly above me, to veer westward out of sight.
Oh boy, I thought, the galactic community must have labeled me as “an American too cunning to ignore” and were coming to dispatch me.
With a single red light on their underside, the three indistinguishably shaped aircraft flew in a single-file line until they were barely visible on the western horizon, when they may have changed formation.
Safe for now, I thought.
My jubilation at being alive was interrupted, though, when a second set of three passed by in the same flight path as the first, maybe 15 minutes later. Another three flew by at the same time, about 11 p.m., the following night.
So, am I completely alone in this UFO sighting? Surely, somebody else saw them. Please, vindicate my rantings. Log on to www.argusobserver.com, click on this story in the Us section and write a little blog, just so I know I’m not going crazy.
Or, at least, any crazier than I already am. You can only take these things so far before people start to wonder.
Sean Hart is the lifestyle editor for the Argus Observer. He can be contacted at SeanH@argusobserver.com.
Earl wrote on Apr 24, 2009 1:57 PM: